I just got my official job offer in the mail yesterday from West Glacier Merc. and signed next to "yes, I accept" with more hesitation than I had anticipated. Did the attached letter really say that I would be starting May 16th?!?!
I worked as a waitress at the West Glacier Cafe the first summer I lived in Montana. I was 18, lived with my Grandparents just minutes away from the park, and had the energy of...well, an 18 year old. That was the summer I met Nate, and let's just say, I am just not the same girl who used to serve him open faced roast beef sandwiches in 2006. Babies, growing up, and life have aged me a bit (I said a BIT) and I am a little nervous to tie on that old blue apron and work harder than I have EVER worked before. If you think I am overestimating the labor, just come in for lunch mid-July. You'll see.
The benefits of the hard work are worth the sore feet though. In terms of fun, I always felt like I was at summer camp for adults. Experiencing Glacier National Park this way is something special. The tourists who come from all over the world, always seemed to leave a piece of their hometown with me when they left. I am looking forward to learning as much as I did the first time.
I am slightly nervous to send Eldon to daycare (mostly because I haven't even found one yet) but more excited that anything. He is going to THRIVE in a daycare. He is a social butterfly like his Mama and craves knowledge. I know he will make lifelong friends due to the fact that this is a small town where people never leave because..why would you?
We both so need this and not because I don't enjoy staying at home. I do. But because although it's sweet to say we are everything we will ever need, that's just not true. Eldon can't provide me with adult interaction and the kind of socializing I need. Although I try, I can't think like a 3 year old and I get tired of blocks. all. the. time. We can plan activities and go places every day but the bottom line is that we are bored. Eldon especially.
As kids age, so do their needs. I am thankful for our ability to just roll with it and for the opportunity to stay at home with Eldon when he was young and needed it most. Being able to parent from many perspectives already, has helped shape me as a Mom and a person. I no longer judge. I have been a stay at home Mom, a part time working Mom, and am gearing up for my first full time job since Eldon was born. (I just had to reread that after I typed it, has it really been 3 years since I worked full time?) I no longer think that working is harder than staying at home. I will no longer sit at work wishing that I could stay at home because in all reality, I could. I am choosing to work and I am choosing what works best for us. The fact that I am only committing to a job that ends in September is making this transition a little easier. I may or may not return to work once the summer is over. Eldon will be starting preschool so chances are, I will be working. For those who are afraid to ask, we are in total neutral mode when it comes to when and how more children will be coming into our lives. After losing Emerson, we felt the need to wait until after his due date (which is coming up, on May 12) to discuss further plans for having more kids. We have been approaching the subject of adoption lately for more reasons than one. When that next baby (or child) comes, I will again return to staying at home. We have no idea, as of now, when that will be.
Adventures are totally my style and so is change. If my decisions only affected me, I would just leave it up to the flip of a coin every time. I am not a pros/cons list maker or a person with a 5 year plan, but this decision was fairly deliberate, and mostly for my sake. I made a New Years resolution to be a little more selfish this year. I am learning that in order to do that without feeling guilty, I also need to be a little more independent. I will no longer be the Mom that "let herself go." Let's be real here, I am only 23. I need nights out, I need lunch dates with friends, I need to shop without prior approval and get my hair done more than once a year. I need to get out of the house.
So this new adventure of working my summer away, is both a little selfish and a way to fund my other "selfish" desires. I am beyond excited and confident that my family will reap the benefits as well. Some serious growth is about to take place for all 3 of us. Stay tuned!
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